Peer Review #3

The most recurring suggestion that I noticed from my peers was that I need to modify my thesis in order to fit the rest of my essay better.  In order to do this I will write the main idea of each paragraph so that I can look at them all at once and write a new thesis based on this.  The biggest challenge that I will face would be actually finding a way to word my thesis so that it fits the rest of my essay.  I will most likely have to modify my paragraphs as well in order to keep my essay as on topic as possible.  I am fairly certain that I will be able to accomplish this goal, however if I am unable to, I will seek help from my peers to proof read my essay and tell me whether or not I have accomplished my goal or not.  In my essay I am also using two songs in order to convey my ideas.  These two songs are “Wish You Were Here” by Pink Floyd, and “The Way Life Goes” by Lil Uzi Vert.